Chapter 14-Power In Interpersonal Communication

This chapter discussed the importance of power in interpersonal relationships, emphasizing the nature of power and its principles, its types, and the ways to communicate power. Principles of Power What is power? What principles govern the operation of power in interpersonal relationships?

• Some people are more powerful than others; some are born to power, others learn it.
• Some people are more Machiavellian than others; people differ in their beliefs about the extent to which people can be controlled by others.
• Power can be increased or decreased; power is never static.
• Power follows the principle of less interest; generally, the less interest, the greater the power.
• Power has a cultural dimension; power is distributed differently in different cultures.
• Power is often used unfairly, as in sexual harassment and power plays.

Types of Power

What types of power can one person have over another?

• Referent: B wants to be like A.
• Legitimate: B believes that A has a right to influence or control B's behavior.
• Expert: B regards A as having knowledge.
• Information or persuasion: B attributes to A the ability to communicate effectively.
• Reward: A has the ability to reward B.
• Coercive: A has the ability to punish B.

Communicating Power

How can you communicate power?

• Speaking power includes, for example, avoiding hesitations, disqualifiers, and self-critical statements.
• Nonverbal power includes avoiding adaptors, using consistent packaging, and avoiding excessive movements.
• Listening power includes responding visibly, maintaining eye contact and an open posture, and avoiding interrupting.
• Compliance-gaining and compliance-resisting tactics enable you to influence others to do as you want or enable you to resist compliance attempts of others. Compliance-gaining tactics include expressing liking, making promises, and threatening. Compliance-resisting tactics include using identity management and negotiation.
• Empowering others enables them to gain power and control over themselves and over the environment. Empowering others has numerous advantages, for example, empowered people are more proactive and more responsible. Empowering others involves such strategies as being positive, avoiding verbal aggressiveness and abusiveness, and encouraging growth, and is especially helpful and most often greatly appreciated in cases of shyness or high communication apprehension.

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Chapter 13-Conflict In Interpersonal Communication

This chapter examined interpersonal conflict, one possible model to follow in trying to resolve conflicts, and some of the popular productive and unproductive conflict strategies Nature of Conflict What is interpersonal conflict?

• Interpersonal conflict is a disagreement between connected individuals who each want something that is incompatible with what the other wants.
• Interpersonal conflict is neither good nor bad, but depending on how the disagreements are resolved, the conflict can strengthen or weaken a relationship.
• Conflict can center on matters external to the relationship and on relationship issues such as who's the boss.
• Conflict and the strategies used to resolve it are heavily influenced by culture.
• Before the conflict: Try to fight in private, fight when you're ready, know what you're fighting about, and fight about problems that can be solved.
• After the conflict: Learn something from the conflict, keep the conflict in perspective, attack your negative feelings, and increase the exchange of rewards.

Conflict Resolution Stages

How do you go about resolving a conflict or solving a problem?

• Define the conflict: Define the content and relationship issues in specific terms, avoiding gunnysacking and mindreading, and try to empathize with the other person.
• Examine the possible solutions: Try to identify as many solutions as possible, look for win-win solutions, and carefully weigh the costs and rewards of each solution.
• Test the solution mentally and in practice to see if it works.
• Evaluate the tested solution from a variety of perspectives.
• Accept the solution and integrate it into your behavior. Or reject the solution and begin again, for example, defining the problem differently or looking in other directions for possible solutions.

Conflict Management Strategies

What are some of the strategies that people use that may help or hinder resolving the conflict?

• Become an active participant in the conflict; don't avoid the issues or the arguments of the other person.
• Use talk to discuss the issues rather than trying to force the other person to accept your position.
• Try to enhance the self-esteem, the face, of the person you're arguing with; avoid strategies that may cause the other person to lose face.
• Argue the issues, focusing as objectively as possible on the points of disagreement; avoid being verbally aggressive or attacking the other person.

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Chapter 12-Interpersonal Relationships: Friendship, Love, Family, and Workplace

This chapter explored some major kinds of interpersonal relationships, specifically friendship, love, family, and workplace relationships. Friendship What is friendship? What are the types of friendship? What purposes does it serve? How does friendship differ in different cultures and between men and women?

• Friendship is an interpersonal relationship between two persons that is mutually productive and characterized by mutual positive regard.
• The types of friendships are: ~Reciprocity, characterized by loyalty, self-sacrifice, mutual affection, and generosity. ~Receptivity, characterized by a comfortable and positive imbalance in the giving and receiving of rewards; each person's needs are satisfied by the exchange. ~Association, a transitory relationship, more like a friendly relationship than a true friendship.
• Friendships serve a variety of needs and give us a variety of values, among which are the values of utility, affirmation, ego-support, stimulation, and security.
• Friendship demands vary between collectivist and individualist cultures.
• Women share more and are more intimate with same-sex friends than are men. Men's friendships are often built around shared activities rather than shared intimacies.

Love

What is love? What are the major kinds of love? What is the effect of love on communication? How does love vary in different cultures and between men and women?

• Love is a feeling that may be characterized by passion and caring and by intimacy, passion, and commitment.
• Types of love: ~Eros love focuses on beauty and sexuality, sometimes to the exclusion of other qualities. ~Ludus love is seen as a game and focuses on entertainment and excitement. ~Storge love is a kind of companionship, peaceful and slow. ~Pragma love is practical and traditional. ~Mania love is obsessive and possessive, characterized by elation and depression. ~Agape love is compassionate and selfless, characterized as self-giving and altruistic.
• Verbal and nonverbal messages echo the intimacy of a love relationship. With increased intimacy, you share more, speak in a more personalized style, engage in prolonged eye contact, and touch each other more often.
• Members of individualist cultures are likely to place greater emphasis on romantic love than are members of collectivist cultures.
• Men generally score higher on erotic and ludic love, whereas women score higher on manic, pragmatic, and storgic love. Men generally score higher on romanticism than women.

Family

What is a family? What are the types of families? How do families communicate?

• Characteristics of Families ~Defined roles. Members understand the roles each of them serves. ~Recognition of responsibilities. Members realize that each person has certain responsibilities to the relationship. ~Shared history and future. Members have an interactional past and an anticipated future together. ~Shared living space. Generally, members live together. ~Established rules. The relationship is rule governed, rather than random or unpredictable.
• Family Types ~Traditionals see themselves as a blending of two people into a single couple. ~Independents see themselves as primarily separate individuals, an individuality that is more important than the relationship or the connection between the individuals. ~Separates see their relationship as a matter of convenience rather than of mutual love or connection.
• Communication in Families ~Equality. Each person shares equally in the communication transactions and decision making. ~Balanced split. Each person has authority over different but relatively equal domains. ~Unbalanced split. One person maintains authority and decision-making power over a wider range of issues than the other. ~Monopoly. One person dominates and controls the relationship and the decisions made.

Communicating in Workplace Relationships

What types of relationships occur in the workplace, and what influence does the workplace have on such relationships?

• Romantic relationships in the workplace, although having a variety of benefits, are often frowned upon and often entail a variety of problems that would not arise in other contexts.
• Mentoring relationships help you learn the ropes of the organization through the experience and knowledge of someone who has gone through the processes you'll be going through.
• Networking enables you to expand your area of expertise and enables you to secure information bearing on a wide variety of problems you want to solve and questions you want to answer.

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Chapter 11-Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration

Relationship Development What are some of the major theories that explain why you develop the relationships you do?

• Attraction theory holds that you develop relationships with those you consider attractive (physically and in personality), who are physically close to you, and who are similar to you.
• Social exchange theory holds that you develop relationships that enable you to maximize profits, relationships from which you derive more rewards than costs.
• Equity theory holds that you develop and maintain relationships in which the ratio of rewards compared to costs is approximately equal to your partner's.

Relationship Maintenance

What are the reasons for relationship maintenance? What behaviors do people use to maintain their relationships?

• Reasons for maintaining a relationship include emotional attachment, convenience, children, fear, inertia, and commitment.
• Maintenance behaviors include being nice, communicating, being open, giving assurances, sharing joint activities, being positive, and improving yourself.
• Relationship maintenance can be achieved by following the rules for keeping the relationship, whether friendship or romance, together.

Relationship Deterioration

What is relationship deterioration? Why do relationships deteriorate?

• Relationship deterioration refers to the weakening of the bonds holding people together. It occurs when one or both parties are unhappy with the current state of the relationship.
• Among the causes of relationship deterioration are maintaining unrealistic beliefs about relationships, excessive intimacy claims, third-party relationships, relationship changes, undefined expectations, sex-related problems, work-related problems, and financial difficulties.

Relationship Repair

What is relationship repair? What strategies can you use to repair a relationship?

• Relationship repair refers to the process of correcting the problems that beset a relationship and bringing the relationship to a more intimate, more positive state.
• General repair strategies include: recognizing the problem, engaging in productive communication and conflict resolution, posing possible solutions, affirming each other, integrating solutions into normal behavior, and risking.
• Repair isn't necessarily a two-person process; one person can break unproductive and destructive cycles.

Relationship Dissolution

What is relationship dissolution? What strategies are used to dissolve relationships?

• Dissolution refers to the breaking or dissolving of the bonds that hold the relationship together.
• Among the strategies are positive tone, negative identity management, justification, behavioral de-escalation, and de-escalation.

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Chapter 10-Universals of Interpersonal Relationships

This chapter introduced interpersonal relationships and focused on three areas: the advantages and disadvantages of relationships, the stages you go through in developing and perhaps dissolving relationships, and the influence of culture on interpersonal relationships. Characteristics of Interpersonal Relationships How do interpersonal relationships differ from impersonal relationships?

• Among the differences are that interpersonal relationships are those in which the people base their predictions on psychological (rather than sociological) data, explanatory (rather than descriptive) knowledge, and personally established (rather than socially established) rules.
• Interpersonal relationships have both advantages and disadvantages. Some advantages are that interpersonal relationships help alleviate loneliness, enable you to secure stimulation, help you to gain self-knowledge and enhance your self-esteem, and enable you to maximize pleasure and minimize pain. Some of the disadvantages are that interpersonal relationships put pressure on you to reveal yourself to others; impose significant financial, emotional, and temporal obligations; may lead to increased isolation from former friends; and may present difficulties in dissolving.

Stages in Interpersonal Relationships

What are the stages that a relationship goes through?

• At the contact stage you make perceptual contact and later interact with the person.
• At the involvement stage you test your potential partner, and if this proves satisfactory, you move on to intensifying your relationship.
• At the intimacy stage you may make an interpersonal commitment and later enter the stage of social bonding, where you publicly reveal your relationship status.
• At the deterioration stage the bonds holding you together begin to weaken. Intrapersonal dissatisfaction is experienced and later becomes interpersonal when you discuss it with your partner and perhaps others.
• At the repair stage you first engage in intrapersonal repair, analyzing what went wrong and perhaps what you can do to set things right; later you may engage in interpersonal repair, where you and your partner consider ways to mend your deteriorating relationships.
• At the dissolution stage you separate yourself from your partner and later perhaps separate socially and publicly.

Relationships in a Context of Culture and Technology

In what ways does culture influence interpersonal relationships?

• Culture influences the beliefs you have about relationships, the purposes and values you feel they should serve, the choices involved in developing and in dissolving relationships, the rules that relationships should follow, and the roles that are considered appropriate in relationships.
• Technology has now assumed a major role in all interpersonal relationships, especially their development and maintenance.

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Chapter 8-Nonverbal Messages

In this chapter we introduced nonverbal communication: body movements, facial communication, eye communication, touch, paralanguage and silence, spatial messages, artifactual messages, and temporal communication. Body Communication What meanings are communicated with body movements? What meanings can your general body appearance communicate?

• Among the body gestures identified are emblems, which translate words and phrases rather directly; illustrators, which accompany and literally illustrate the verbal messages; affect displays, which convey emotional meaning; regulators, which monitor or control the speaking of the other person; and adaptors, which serve some need and are usually performed only partially in public.
• General body appearance (height, weight, level of attractiveness, and skin color, for example) can communicate your power, attractiveness, and suitability as a friend or romantic partner.

Facial Communication

What meanings do facial movements communicate?

• Facial movements express emotions, such as happiness, surprise, fear, anger, sadness, disgust/contempt, interest, bewilderment, and determination.
• Some facial movements manage the meanings being communicated using these techniques: intensifying, deintensifying, neutralizing, and masking.

Eye Communication

What messages do eye contact, eye avoidance, and pupil dilation communicate?

• Eye contact: monitor feedback, maintain interest/attention, signal conversational turns, signal nature of relationship, compensate for physical distance
• Eye avoidance: give others privacy, signal disinterest, cut off unpleasant stimuli, heighten other senses
• Pupil dilation: indicate interest/arousal, increase attractiveness

Touch Communication

What meanings can you communicate by touching?

• Among the meanings touch can communicate are positive affect, playfulness, control, ritual, and task-relatedness.
• Significant gender and cultural differences are found in touching behavior and in the tendencies to avoid touch.

Paralanguage and Silence

What meanings do variations in paralanguage and silence communicate?

• Paralanguage cues are used for forming impressions, for identifying emotional states, and for making judgments of credibility, intelligence, and objectivity.
• Silence is used in widely different ways in different cultures: to provide thinking time, to inflict hurt, to hide anxiety, to prevent communication, to communicate feelings, or to communicate "nothing."

Spatial Messages

How do you communicate using space?

• The major types of distance that correspond to types of relationships are intimate distance (touching to 18 inches), personal distance (18 inches to 4 feet), social distance (4 to 12 feet), and public distance (12 or more feet).
• Theories about space include protection theory, which claims you maintain spatial distance to protect yourself; equilibrium theory, which claims that you regulate distance according to the intimacy level of your relationship; and expectancy violations theory, which explains what happens when you increase or decrease the distance between yourself and another in an interpersonal interaction.
• Your territories may be identified as primary (areas you own), secondary (areas that you occupy regularly), and public (areas open to everyone). Like animals, humans often mark their territories with central, boundary, and ear markers as proof of ownership. Your territory (its appearance and the way it's used) also communicates status.

Artifactual Communication

How do you communicate with artifacts, for example, with space decoration, color, clothing and body adornment, and scents?

• Space decoration influences perceptions of energy, time, status, and personal characteristics.
• Colors communicate different meanings depending on the culture.
• Clothing and body adornment serve especially as cultural display and communicate messages about status and social thinking.
• Scents can communicate messages of attraction, taste, memory, and identification.

Temporal Communication

What are the different time orientations and how do these influence behavior?

• Three main time orientations can be distinguished: past, present, and future.
• These orientations influence a wide variety of behaviors, such as your willingness to plan for the future, your tendency to party, and even your potential income.

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Chapter 7-Verbal Messages

This chapter covered some of the barriers to effective interpersonal communication. Language Symbolizes Reality What is intensional orientation and how can you combat it? What is allness and how can you correct it?

• Intensional orientation is the tendency to view the world in the way it's talked about or labeled. To combat intensional orientation, respond to things first; look for the labels second.
• Allness is the tendency to describe the world in extreme terms that imply one knows all or is saying all there is to say. To combat allness, remind yourself that you can never know all or say all about anything; use a mental and sometimes verbal "etc."

Language Expresses Both Facts and Inferences

How do facts and inferences differ? How can you distinguish them more clearly?

• Fact-inference confusion is the tendency to confuse factual and inferential statements and to respond to inferences as if they were facts.
• To combat such confusions, distinguish facts from inferences and respond to inferences as inferences, not as facts.

Language Expresses Both Denotation and Connotation

What is the difference between denotation and connotation?

• Denotative meaning is the dictionary-like, objective meaning of a word or sentence.
• Connotation is the subjective and personal meaning of a word or sentence.

Language Can Criticize and Praise

How can you more effectively communicate both criticism and praise?

• Excessive criticism or praise is talk that is basically dishonest and in many instances manipulative.
• The principle of honest appraisal calls for saying what you feel, but gently and kindly.

Language Can Obscure Distinctions

What are indiscrimination and ethnocentrism, and how can you reduce them? What is polarization and what can you do to eliminate it? What is static evaluation and how can you eliminate it?

• Indiscrimination is the tendency to group unique individuals or items because they're covered by the same term or label. To combat indiscrimination, recognize uniqueness, and index each individual in a group (teacher1, teacher2).
• Polarization is the tendency to describe the world in terms of extremes or polar opposites. To combat polarization use middle terms and qualifiers.
• Static evaluation is the tendency to describe the world in static terms, denying constant change. To combat static evaluation, recognize the inevitability of change; date statements and evaluations, realizing, for example, that Gerry Smith1991 is not Gerry Smith2001.

Language Can Confirm and Disconfirm What is disconfirmation and confirmation (and the related sexist, racist, and heterosexist communications)?

• Disconfirmation is communication that ignores another, that denies the other person's definition of self.
• Confirmation expresses acknowledgment and acceptance of others and avoids racist, sexist, and heterosexist expressions that are disconfirming.

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Chapter 6-Universals of Verbal and Nonverbal Messages

This chapter introduced the message system and examined some of the similarities and differences in verbal and nonverbal messages. Messages and Meanings What is meaning and what principles regulate the communication of meaning from one person to another?

• Meanings are in people, in their thoughts and feelings, not just in their words.
• Meaning is more than words and gestures; meaning includes what speaker and listener bring to interpersonal interaction.
• Meaning is unique; no two people experience exactly the same meaning.
• Meanings are context-based; the context heavily influences the meanings that words and gestures are given.

Message Characteristics

What are the major characteristics of verbal and nonverbal messages?

• Messages are packaged; they occur in clusters and usually reinforce each other but may also contradict each other.
• Messages are rule-governed; they follow the rules of the culture.
• Messages vary in abstraction; they vary from very specific to highly abstract and general.
• Messages vary in politeness from rude to extremely polite.
• Messages vary in inclusion and may include or exclude other people.
• Messages vary in assertiveness, a quality that may be increased by analyzing the communications around you, rehearsing assertive communication, and communicating with assertive messages.

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Chapter 4-Perception In Interpersonal Communication

This chapter examined perception, a fundamental process in all interpersonal communication encounters, and looked at the stages you go through in perceiving people, the processes that influence your perceptions, and some of the ways in which you can make your perceptions more accurate. Stages of Perception What is perception and how does it work?

• Perception is the process by which you become aware of objects and events in the external world.
• Perception occurs in five stages: (1) stimulation, (2) organization, (3) interpretation-evaluation, (4) memory, and (5) recall.

Perceptual Processes

What influences your interpersonal perceptions?

• Your implicit personality theory allows you to conclude that certain characteristics go with certain other characteristics.
• Your self-fulfilling prophecy may influence the behaviors of others.
• Perceptual accentuation may lead you to perceive what you expect to perceive instead of what is really there.
• Perceptions may be affected by primacy-recency. Your tendency to give extra importance to what occurs first (a primacy effect) may lead you to see what conforms to this judgment and to distort or otherwise misperceive what contradicts it. First impressions often serve as filters, as schemata, for more recent information. In some cases, you may give extra weight to what occurs last (a recency effect).
• The tendency to seek and expect consistency may influence you to see what is consistent and to not see what is inconsistent.
• A stereotype, a fixed impression about a group, may influence your perceptions of individual members; you may see individuals only as members of the group instead of as unique individuals.
• Judgments of attribution, the process through which you try to understand the behaviors of others (and your own behaviors, in self-attribution), particularly the reasons or motivations for these behaviors, are made on the basis of consensus, consistency, distinctiveness, and controllability. Errors of attribution include the self-serving bias, overattribution, and the fundamental attribution error.

Increasing Accuracy in Interpersonal Perception

How might you increase your accuracy in perception?

• Perceive critically: For example, recognize your role in perception, avoid early conclusions, and avoid mind reading.
• Check your perceptions; describe what you see or hear and ask for confirmation.
• Reduce uncertainty: For example, by lurking before actively participating in an Internet chat group, collecting information about the person or situation, interacting and observing the situation.
• Be culturally sensitive; recognize the differences between you and others and also the differences among people from another culture.

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Chapter 3-Self In Interpersonal Communication

This chapter looked at the self in interpersonal communication and focused on three basic topics: dimensions of the self (self-concept, self-awareness, and self-esteem), self-disclosure, and communication apprehension. Dimensions of the Self What are self-concept, self-awareness, and self-esteem and how do they influence interpersonal communication?

• Self-Concept ~Self-concept is the image you have of who you are. ~Sources of self-concept include others' images of you, social comparisons, cultural teachings, and your own interpretations and evaluations.
• Self-Awareness ~Self-awareness is your knowledge of yourself; the extent to which you know who you are. ~A useful way of looking at self-awareness is with the Johari window, which consists of four parts. The open self: information known to self and others; the blind self: information known only to others; the hidden self: information known only to self; and the unknown self: information known to neither self nor others. ~To increase self-awareness, ask yourself about yourself, listen to others, actively seek information about yourself, see your different selves, and increase your open self.
• Self-Esteem Self-esteem is the value you place on yourself; your perceived self-worth. To increase self-esteem, try attacking your self-destructive beliefs, seeking affirmation, seeking out nourishing people, and working on projects that will result in success.

Self-Disclosure

What is self-disclosure? What influences self-disclosure? What are its potential rewards and dangers? What guidelines are useful in making decisions to self-disclose and in listening to the disclosures of others?

• Self-disclosure is revealing information about yourself to others, information that is normally hidden.
• Self-disclosure is influenced by a variety of factors: who you are, your culture, your gender, your listeners, and your topic.
• Among the rewards of self-disclosure are self-knowledge, ability to cope, communication effectiveness, meaningfulness of relationships, and physiological health. Among the dangers are personal risks, relational risks, professional risks, and the fact that communication is irreversible; once something is said, you can't take it back.
• In self-disclosing consider your motivation, the appropriateness of the disclosure to the person and context, the disclosures of others (the dyadic effect), and the possible burdens that the self-disclosure might impose on others and on yourself.
• In responding to the disclosures of others, listen effectively, support and reinforce the discloser, keep disclosures confidential, and don't use disclosures as weapons.
• In some situations you'll want to resist self-disclosing by being determined not to be pushed into it, being assertive and direct, or being indirect.

Communication Apprehension

What is communication apprehension? How can you effectively manage your own apprehension? How can you help empower those who are apprehensive?

• Communication apprehension is a state of fear or anxiety about communication situations. Trait apprehension is a fear of communication generally. State apprehension is a fear of communication that is specific to a situation (for example, an interview or public speaking situation).
• Theories and management of communication apprehension include cognitive restructuring, systematic desensitization, and skill acquisition. ~Cognitive restructuring focuses on unrealistic beliefs and seeks to substitute more realistic ones. ~Systematic desensitization attempts to train you to respond without apprehension to increasingly more anxiety-provoking situations. ~Skill acquisition focuses on training you to master the skills involved in situations that normally provoke apprehension. To build skills: Prepare and practice, focus on success, familiarize yourself with the situation, and try to relax.

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Chapter 2-Culture In Interpersonal Communication

This unit explored the nature of culture and identified some key concepts and principles that explain the role of culture in interpersonal communication. Nature of Culture and Interpersonal Communication What is culture and how is it transmitted?

• Culture: The relatively specialized lifestyle of a group of people (values, beliefs, artifacts, ways of behaving) that are passed from one generation to the next by means of communication (not genes).
• Enculturation: The process through which you learn the culture into which you're born.
• Acculturation: The process by which you learn the rules and norms of a culture that is different from your native culture and that modifies your original or native culture.

How Cultures Differ

How do cultures differ from each other? How do these differences affect interpersonal communication?

• In high-power-distance cultures, power is concentrated in the hands of a few and there is a great difference between those with and those without power. In low-power-distance cultures, the power is more equally shared throughout the citizenry.
• In highly masculine cultures, men are viewed as strong, assertive, and focused on being successful, whereas women are viewed as modest, tender, and focused on the quality of life. In highly feminine cultures, men and women are viewed more similarly.
• A collectivist culture emphasizes the group and subordinates the individual's goals to those of the group. An individualist culture emphasizes the individual and subordinates the group's goals to the individual's.
• In high-context cultures, much of the information is in the context; in low-context cultures, information is explicitly stated in the verbal message.
• Different cultures view time very differently. ~Displaced and diffused time orientations identify how accurately and specifically time is viewed and defined. ~Monochronic people do one thing at a time; polychronic people do several things at the same time.

Intercultural Communication

What is intercultural communication and what are its central principles?

• Intercultural communication refers to communication between people who have different cultures, beliefs, values, and ways of behaving.
• Some intercultural communication principles include: prepare yourself, reduce uncertainty, recognize differences (between yourself and others, within the culturally different group, and in meanings), adjust your communication, and recognize culture shock.

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Chapter 1-Universals of Interpersonal Communication

This chapter introduced interpersonal communication, its elements, and some of its axioms or basic principles. Nature of Interpersonal Communication What is interpersonal communication? At what point does communication become interpersonal?

• Interpersonal communication is communication between two or more connected individuals that involves dyadic primacy (the two-person unit is of central importance), dyadic coalitions (two-person groups form even in larger groups), and dyadic consciousness (the two persons think of themselves as a pair).
• Interpersonal communication can take place and interpersonal relationships can develop from face-to-face interactions as well as those you have on the Internet.
• Interpersonal communication serves a variety of purposes. It enables you to learn, relate, influence, play, and help.

Elements of Interpersonal Communication

What are the essential elements of interpersonal communication?

• Source-receiver is the person who sends and receives interpersonal messages simultaneously.
• Encoding-decoding refers to the act of putting meaning into verbal and nonverbal messages and deriving meaning from the messages you receive from others.
• Competence is the knowledge of and ability to use effectively your own communication system.
• Messages are the signals that serve as stimuli for a receiver; metamessages are messages that refer to other messages. ~Feedback messages are messages that are sent back by the receiver to the source in response to other messages. ~Feedforward messages are messages that preface other messages and ask that the listener approach future messages in a certain way. ~Messages can quickly overload the channels, making meaningful interaction impossible.
• Channels are the media through which messages pass and which act as a bridge between source and receiver, for example, the vocal-auditory channel used in speaking or the cutaneous-tactile channel used in touch.
• Noise is the inevitable physical, physiological, psychological, and semantic interference that distorts a message.
• Context is the physical, social-psychological, temporal, and cultural environment in which communication takes place.
• Ethics is the moral dimension of communication, the study of what makes behavior moral or good as opposed to immoral and bad.

Axioms of Interpersonal Communication

What general principles help explain what interpersonal communication is and how it works?

• Interpersonal communication is grounded in theory and research. ~The theories of interpersonal communication are the organized generalizations about interpersonal communication and the evidence bearing on them. ~Through theory and research you learn how interpersonal communication works and from this, you can derive principles for achieving more effective interpersonal interaction.
• Interpersonal communication is a transactional process. ~Interpersonal communication is a process, an ongoing event, in which the elements are interdependent; communication is constantly occurring and changing. ~Don't expect clear-cut beginnings or endings or sameness from one time to another.
• Interpersonal communication is ambiguous. ~All messages are potentially ambiguous; different people will derive different meanings from the "same" message. ~There is ambiguity in all relationships.
• Interpersonal relationships may be symmetrical or complementary. ~Interpersonal interactions may stimulate similar or different behavior patterns, and relationships may be described as basically symmetrical or complementary. ~Develop an awareness of symmetrical and complementary relationships. Avoid clinging rigidly to behavioral patterns that are no longer useful and mirroring another's destructive behaviors.
• Interpersonal communication refers to content and relationship. ~All communications refer both to content and to the relationships between the participants. ~Be aware of and respond to relationship messages as well as content messages.
• Interpersonal communication is a series of punctuated events. ~Everyone separates communication sequences into stimuli and responses on the basis of his or her own perspective. ~View punctuation as arbitrary, and adopt the other's point of view to increase empathy and understanding.
• Interpersonal communication is inevitable, irreversible, and unrepeatable. ~When in an interactional situation, you cannot not communicate; you cannot uncommunicate; you cannot repeat exactly a specific message. ~Seek to control as many aspects of your behavior as possible. In listening, seek out nonobvious messages. Beware of messages you may later wish to take back, for example, conflict and commitment messages.

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Principles of power

Power is often being taken advantage of. Be it at home,in the working place...it happens everywhere. But the question is..How do we define power? Power can be defined as a measure of a person's ability to control the environment around them, including the behavior of other people. The term authority is often used for power, perceived as legitimate by the social structure. Power can also be seen as evil or unjust. However, the exercise of power is accepted as endemic to humans as social beings. PRINCPLE OF POWER Some people are more powerful than others; some are born to power, others learn it. Power can be increased or decreased; power is never static. Power follow the princple of less interest, the greater the power. Power has a cultural dimension; power is distributed differently in different cultures. Power is often used unfairly, as in sexual harassment and power plays. TYPE OF POWER Power can be divided into 5 different points. Referent power: The influence that comes from members' liking and respect for one another.
Legitimate Power: The influence that comes from the authority of your rate and position in the chain of command.
Expert Power: Ability to influence someone regarding a course of action because of a specific knowledge, experience or expertise.
Information or persuasion Power: Having the ability to change people's attitudes largely through the skillful use of language.
Reward Power: Compliance achieved based on the ability to distribute rewards that others view as valuable.
Coercive Power: Authority or power that is dependent on fear, suppression of free will, or use of punishment or threat, for its existence.

Besides the types of power, we also learn the way to communicate through power. ->Speaking power includes, for example, avoiding hesitations, disqualifiers, and self-criticalstatements. ->Nonverbal power includes avoiding adaptors, using consistent packaging, and avoiding excessive movements. ->Listening power includes responding visibly, maintaining eye contact and an open posture, and avoiding interrupting. ->Compliance-gaining and compliance-resisting tactics enable you to influence others to do asyou want or enable you to resist compliance attempts of others. Compliance-gaining tactics include expressing liking, making promises, and threatening. Compliance-resisting tactics include using identity management and negotiation. ->Empowering others enables them to gain power and control over themselves and over the environment. Empowering others has numerous advantages, for example, empowered people are more proactive and more responsible. Empowering others involves such strategies asbeing positive, avoiding verbal aggressiveness and abusiveness, and encouraging growth, and especially helpful and most often greatly appreciated in cases of shyness or highcommunication apprehension.

Famliy

Defined roles: members understand the roles each of them serves. Recognition of responsibilities: members realizethat each person has certain responsibilities to the relationship. Shared history and future: members have an interactional past and an anticipated future together. Shared living space: generally member live together. Established rules: the relationship is rule governed, rather than random or unpredictable.

Family types:

Traditional see themselves as a blending of two people into single couple. Independents see themselves as primarily separate indivuals, and see their individuality as more important than the relationship or the individual

Love

Love is feeling that may be characterized by closeness and caring and by intimacy, passion, and commitment.
There are many type of love:
Eros love focuses on beauty and sexuality, Love at first sight, based on physical attributes and is mostly physical arousal; Eros is definitely love, touch, and affection, but it also has a great deal to do with physical love. If the rest of the chart does not contradict, a strong Eros gives a strong need for physical contact with others, especially sex. It can also add charisma, and the ability to charm almost anyone. Erotic lovers view marriage as an extended honeymoon, and sex as the ultimate aesthetic experience. They tend to address their lovers with pet names, such as "sweetheart" or "honey." An erotic lover can be perceived as a hopeless romantic. Those of other love styles may see erotic lovers as unrealistic, or trapped in a fantasy. The advantage of erotic love is the sentimentality of it. It is very relaxing to the person doing it. The disadvantage is the inevitableness of the decay in attraction, and the danger of living in a fantasy world. In its extreme, eros can resemble naivete.
Ludus love is seen as a game and focuses on entertainment and excitement. It is also known as a rover and collector of loves, very pluralistic. Ludic lovers are players. More interested in quantity than quality of relationships, ludic lovers want to have as much fun as possible. Ludic lovers choose their partners by playing the field, and quickly recover from break-ups. Ludic lovers generally view marriage as a trap, and are the most likely of the love styles to commit infidelity. They might view children as a sign of fertility, or, if male, a confirmation of their masculinity. They address their lovers as "babe," or "studmuffin." Sex is a conquest or a sport, and they engage in relationships because they see them as a challenge. The advantage of ludic love is excellent sexual technique. The disadvantage is the likelihood of infidelity. In its extreme form, ludic love becomes promiscuity.
Storge love is a kind of companionship, peaceful and slow. Pragme love is practical and traditional. It is a loving affection that develops over time, is primarily affection and commitment; Storgic lovers are friends first. Storgic love develops gradually out of friendship, and the friendship can endure beyond the breakup of the relationship. Storgic lovers choose their mates based on homogamy, and sometimes cannot pinpoint the moment that friendship turned to love. Storgic lovers want their significant others to also be their best friends. Storgic lovers place much importance on commitment, and find their motivation to avoid committing infidelity is to preserve the trust between the partners. Children and marriage are seen as legitimate forms of their bond. Sex is of lesser importance than in some of the other love styles. The advantage of storgic love is the level of intimacy between the partners. The disadvantage is boredom and lack of passion.
Mania love is obsessive and possessive, characterized as elation and depression. It is an intense preoccupation with the loved one, intensly jealous and possessive, in need of constant reassurance of partner's love. Projects desired qualities on partner. Manic lovers often have low self-esteem, and place much importance on their relationship. Manic lovers speak of their partners in possessives and superlatives, and feel they "need" their partners. Love is a means of rescue, or a reinforcement of value. Manic lovers often discover their partners by haphazard means. Manic lovers will avoid committing infidelity if they fear discovery. They view marriage as ownership, and children as either competition or a substitute for their lover. Sex is a reassurance of love. Manic lovers are often anxious or insecure, and can be extremely jealous. Manic lovers respond well to therapy, and often grow out of this style. The advantage of manic love is intensity. The disadvantage is jealousy, obsessiveness, and insatiability. In its extreme, mania becomes addiction or codependency.
Agape love is compassionate and selfless,characterized as self-giving and altruistic. Verbal and nonverbal message echo the intimacy of a love relationship. With increased intimacy, you share more, speak is more personalized style, eagage in prolonged eye contact, and touch each other more often. Members of individualist cultures are likely to place greater emphasis on romantic love than are members of collectivist cultures.
Agapic lovers are often spiritual or religious people. Agapic lovers view their partners as blessings, and wish to take care of them. Agapic lovers will remain faithful to their partners to avoid causing them pain, and will often wait patiently for their partners after a break-up. Marriage and children are sacred trusts, and sex is a gift between two people. Agapic love is unconditional. Agapic lovers can eventually grow to feel they have been taken advantage of, and feel they've been used. The advantage of agapic love is its generosity. The disadvantage is its guilt-tripping nature. In its deviant form, agape becomes martyrdom.

Men generally score higher on erotic and ludic love, whereas women score higher on manic, pragmatic, and storgic love. Men generally score higher on romanticism than women.

Relationship

In a relationship, it s easy to assume you know all there is to know about your partner. But people change. You should try to be aware of what is happening in your relationship and understand who your partner is and where they are at. Relationship development happens when you pay close attention and stay curious about (but respectful of) each other. Getting to know one another strengthens the bonds and makes life a more wonderful place to live in.

Relationship maintenance comes into play when we find someone we feel we can connect to in some ways, we are filled with indefinable, rather vague expectations regarding that person. Making a relationship last depends on how the couples involved relate with each other. Life doesn t give you the people you want; instead it gives you the ones you need: to teach you, to hurt you, to love you - to make you exactly the way you should be . These expectations remain deep inside our sub consciousness, despite our apparent denial.

Relationship Deterioration mostly occur when couples or friends begin to not understand each other and that's when the love/friendship starts to fall apart. Among the causes of relationship deteriorationare unrealistic beliefs about relationship, excessive intimacy claims, third-party relationships, relationship charges, undefined expectations, sex-related problems, work- related problems, and financial difficulties.

Most people who care about the relationship would want to mend it at once. Relationship Repairing is essential to every love life or friendship. General repair strategies include recognizing the problem, engaging in productive communication and conflict resolution, posing possible solutions, affirming each other, integrating solutions into normal behavior, and risking. Repair isn't necessarily a two-person process; one person can break unproductive and destructive cycles.

But when the feelings is right and you know that it's over thats when relationship dissolution come about. Among the strategies are positive tone, negative identity management, justification, behavioral de- escalation, and deescalation of exclusivity. It's up to the individual to either end it by being friends or it could get ugly. I strongly suggest that when couple or friends reach this stage, it's best to let the dust settle before talking to each other because it might spark an argument.

Relationship Dissolution

Dissolution is the breaking or dissolving of the bonds that hold the relationship together. Among the stretegies are positive tone, negative identity management, justification, behavioral de- escalation, and deescalation of exclusivity.

Relationship Repair

In relationship repair people endeavor to correct the problems that beset a relationship and to bring the relationship to a more intimate, more positive states. General repair strategies include recognizing the problem, engaging in productive communication and conflict resolution, posing possible solutions, affirming each other, integrating solutions into normal behavior, and risking. Repair isn't necessarily a two-person process; one person can break unproductive and destructive cycles.

Relationship Deterioration

. Relationship deterioration involvesthe weakening of the bonds holding people together. It occurs when one or both parties are unhappy mith the current state of the relationship. Among the causes of relationship deteriorationare unrealistic beliefs about relationship, axcessive intimacy claims, third-party relationships, relationship charges, undefined expectations, sex-related problems, work- related problems, and financial difficulties. Among the negative effects of relationship deterioration may be loss of good times and positive interactions, a loss of self- esteem, and financial problem. Positive effects may include an end to the relationship problems that precipitated the breakip, a independence, and opportunity to develop nw relationships. Among the communication charges that occur during relationship deterioration are verbal and nonverbal withdrawal, a decline in self- disclosure, an increase in deception, and an increase in negative messages and decrease in positive messages.

Relationship Maintenance

Reason for maintaining a relationship include emotional attachment, convenience, children, fear, inertia, and commitment. Maintenance behaviors include being nice, comunicating, being positive, and improving yourself. Relationship maintenance can be achieved by followin the rules for keeping the relationship, wheather friendship or romance, together.

Relationship Development

A ttraction theory holds that you are develop relationship with those you consider attractive(phsically and in personality),who are physically close to you, andwho are similar to you. Sosial exchange theory holds that you develop relationship that enable to you to maximixe profits-relationship from which you devire more rewards than costs. Equity theory holds that you develop and maintain relationships in which your ratio of rewards compared to costs is approximately equal to your partner's.

Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships

Date: 12 March 2009 (12.03.2009)

Day: Thursday

Time: 9.00 a.m. - 12.00 p.m.

How can we define conflict? Conflict is a part of discord caused by the actual or perceived opposition of needs, values and interests. A conflict can be internal or external .

Nature of Conflict What is interpersonal conflict?

->Interpersonal conflict is a disagreement between connected individuals who each want something that is incompatible with what the other wants. ->Interpersonal conflict is neither good nor bad, but depending on how the disagreements are resolved, the conflict can strengthen or weaken a relationship. ->Conflict can center on matters external to the relationship and on relationship issues such as who's the boss. ->Conflict and the strategies used to resolve it are heavily influenced by culture.

Before the conflict: Try to fight in private, fight when you're ready, know what you're fighting about, and fight about problems that can be solved.

After the conflict: Learn something from the conflict, keep the conflict in perspective, attack your negative feelings, and increase the exchange of rewards.

Conflict Resolution Stages

How do you go about resolving a conflict or solving a problem?

Define the conflict: Define the content and relationship issues in specific terms, avoiding gunnysacking and mindreading, and try to empathize with the other person.

Examine the possible solutions: Try to identify as many solutions as possible, look for win-win solutions, and carefully weigh the costs and rewards of each solution.

Test the solution mentally and in practice to see if it works.

Evaluate the tested solution from a variety of perspectives.

Accept the solution and integrate it into your behavior. Or reject the solution and begin again, for example, defining the problem differently or looking in other directions for possible solutions.

Conflict Management Strategies What are some of the strategies that people use that may help or hinder resolving the conflict?

->Become an active participant in the conflict; don't avoid the issues or the arguments of the other person. ->Use talk to discuss the issues rather than trying to force the other person to accept your position. ->Try to enhance the self-esteem, the face, of the person you're arguing with; avoid strategies that may cause the other person to lose face. ->Argue the issues, focusing as objectively as possible on the points of disagreement; avoid being verbally aggressive or attacking the other person.

The conclusion of this class is conflict can cause positive effects too. Whether the effects are positive or negative, we will deicde it through the consequence that the conflict brought.

Videos (Homemade)

In the video of every chapter, there will be our conclusion and also movie of the chapter. Chapter 2: Culture In Interpersonal Communication Music: Mwali We!-Hotel Rwanda

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Chapter 3: Self In Interpersonal Communication Music: Self Potrait-Blackmore's Night

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Chapter 4: Perception In Interpersonal Communication Music: Star Wars III-Star War III *the music in this video clip will be rather loud compared to others.

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

SIGNIFICANCE OF SILENT Significance of silent in social interaction is the absence of speech. Silent in this arena can be divided into three categories (Bureau, 1973): mental, social, or both. These are defined according to time, context, and perception. Physiologically, silent is the result of hesitation, stutters, self-correction, or the deliberate slowing of speech for the purpose of clarification or processing of ideas. These are short silent. Interactive silent occurs in interactive roles, reactive tokens, or turn-taking. According to cultural norms, silent can be interpreted as positive or negative. For example, in a Christian Methodist faith organization silent and reflection during the sermons might be appreciated by the congregation, while in a Southern Baptist church, silent might mean disagreement with what is being taught, or perhaps disconnectedness from the congregated community.

Photo Reading on Significance of Facial Expressions in Culture

Right off the bat, you ascertain that the lady in this picture is sad. Why? Is it written that she's feeling so or are you just guessing? Definitely not. It's the expression on her face that tell you inverably that she's sad. How do you determine that?

"Facial movements convey the emotional state of the individual to observers. Facial expressions are a form of nonverbal communication. They are a primary means of conveying social information among humans, but also occur in most other mammals and some other animal species."

Quote From Wikipedia.

Facial expressions of emotions are hardwired into our gens. It's true that without saying a word, you can actually change the atmosphere or the vibe around you or between your friends. Facial expressions are even able to betray the deceiver's true emotions. Facial expressions can however be deceptive at times when people completely master the art of controlling their mind.

Here's a number of female facial expressions that the guys should really pay attention to.

The obvious conclusion to this is that our face are the universal expressions of the human body next to body language. This may prove to be useful in professional life when one need not always express what he/she feels. However, it’s always good to be with people who express themselves freely, through words as well as body language. It would only help you to establish a better bond with the people you care for in your life.

Here's a game for the fellow readers to check if the know how to differentiate one facial expression from another. Click here.

Readers, do tell us. What do you think the lady in this picture is expressing? Comment up please! :)

Social Clock

Date: 3 March 2009 (03.03.2009)

Day: Tuesday

Time: 2.00 p.m. - 5.00 p.m.

Today is our first replacement class for Interpersonal Communication. Our class started at 2pm. As usual, Miss Cheryl began the class by taking attendance. Today’s class was all about “Social Clock”, which is the significance of time in culture. Social Clock is related with culture, where there is a need to do some things at specific time of our life. Every individual’s Social Clock is not the same. An individual’s Social Clock is determined by 3 main criteria. Those are religion/culture, community and society. Is it important or relevant? Why? Definitely the answer is a YES. This is because a Social Clock disciplines an individual to complete his/her necessity on time. Social Clock is also important because it ensures us to overcome the goals and missions that we are supposed to achieve in a certain period. What do we feel? Sometimes, there are irrelevant believes brought by our ancestors which is not suitable for this era. Though, there are still people who follow those believe. Usually, when someone who does not follow certain belief joins the community, he/she will be sympathised and questioned. That specific individual will be accused for doing wrong things because he/she does not get involved in those believes. Do this feelings influence our behaviour? Actually, when an individual is pressured with unnecessary questions, he/she will be annoyed. This can make the individual to get fed up and avoid themselves from joining the community. For example, for my family, once a girl reaches puberty, she has to pierce her nose. A girl has to pierce her before she gets married. This is because, it is believed that piercing the nose can control a person’s anger. Just because I don’t follow, I will be teased by my family members whenever we get together.

Significance of Color in Culture

Colors evoke strong physiological and emotional responses from both positive and negative. And different colors have different meanings to different people. If we are unfamiliar with the cultural significance of a certain color of product, brand, or identity we might end up failing before it has a chance to take off! Let’s take a closer look at the cultural significance of color! :P

Red , for instance is a very stimulating color and has been shown to produce increased heart and respiratory rates. Thus, red works as an excellent attention grabber and accent but could easily overstimulate when used as a background color. Perhaps it is also the most significant color in China. Why? No where is this color more prominent than on the Chinese flag. Representing good fortune and joy, red is also one of the most used colors during Chinese holidays and family gatherings. It is also the color the Chinese associate with fire, one of the five elements its people believe create everything that exists in nature.

However, in India, the color red represents something quite different: Purity.Indian brides traditionally wear red gowns and once married their foreheads are adorned with a red dot or tikka, the symbol of commitment. Because the wedding represents the beginning of a union of two individuals, the color red also symbolizes fertility and prosperity.

Now, let's look at the color green.In North American cultures, green means go.It is also associated with environmental awareness.It is a symbolic of nature, and is often linked to fiscal matters. But,i n India green is the color used to honor Islam. As popular as green is, don’t use it if you plan on doing business with Indonesian people. That’s because in Indonesia, green is a forbidden color. In countries with dense jungles like those in South America, green represents death. But in the Middle East, green is the color of luck.Green is also a sacred color to the Egyptians because it represents the hope and joy of Spring.

What about the colour white?White represents mourning in Chinese cultures. However, the western culture symbolize white as color of purity and innocence. It also signify life. Besides that it also represents cleanliness, truth, peace, coldness and sterility.

Black is often used to symbolize death in the western culture. Besides representing death, it also represents power, sophistication, contemporary style, morbidity, evil and also rebellion. But in China, t is a color for young boys.

But the color purple is a color of mourning in Thailand. It is a color for the widows. In the western culture, purple is often associated with royalty,wealth and opulence. It is also a color for mystery,creativity, royalty, mysticism, rarity.

In Iran, blue symbolizes immortality. It is a color of heaven and spirituality. But for the Cherokees it means defeat or trouble.l In western cultures, blue is associated with depression,sadness,conservative,corperate.It also symbolize loyalty, security, conservatism, tranquility and coldness.

Yellow represents reliability and strength in Saudi Arabia.Chinese associate yellow with another of the five elements, the Earth, and as such, this color represents royalty and it also means nourishing.In Japan, it is the color for courage but in Eygpt its the color for mourning. Yellow is associated with cowardice, hope, hazards.

We can emphasize certain meanings over others by using variations of value and saturation, or by using colors that combine two hues. Therefore, it is important for us to learn about the different significance of colors in different culture. Not only will it broaden our knowledge but it'll also prevent us from offending the different races and cultures in the world.

Perception In Interpersonal Communication

Date: 27 Febuary 2009 (27.02.2009)

Day: Friday

Time: 9.00 a.m.-12.00 p.m.

In this class, a few of us were picked by Miss Cheryl to present about a few terms in the chapter of Perception. These are the terms. What influence us in our interpersonal perception? Implicit Personal Theory - A set of assumptions that a person make,often unconcious, about the correlations that occur between our personal trait. - It also helps us conclude that certain characteristics go with other different characteristic. - Example : We may perceive a shy girl to be an introvert or a quiet girl. Self- fulfilling Prophecy - A prediction that may influence our outcome. - Shaping our self-concept that will also influence our own behavior. - It may also lead us to perceive what we expect to perceive instead of what is really there. Primary and Recency - Our perceptions can be affected by primary and recency. - Our tendency to give extra importance to what occurs first (a primacy effect) may lead us to see what conforms to this judgment and to distort or otherwise misperceive what contradicts it. - Our first impressions often serve as filters, as schemata, for more recent information. In some cases, you may give extra weight to what occurs last (a recency effect). - The tendency to seek and expect consistency may influence you to see what is consistent and to not see what is inconsistent. Stereotyping - The tendency to seek and expect consistency may influence what we want to see whether it is consistent and to not see what is inconsistent. Attributions - It is the process which we go through to understand the behaviors of others particularly the reasons or motivations for these behaviors, are made on the basis of consensus, consistency, distinctiveness, and controllability. - Errors of attribution include the self-serving bias, overattribution, and the fundamental attribution error.

Dimensions of self (Terms)

We learnt about self-concept,self-awareness, and self- esteem. But have we sit down and asked ourselves how do they influence us in Interpersonal Communication?

Self-Concept

-> Self-concept is the image we have of who we ourselves are. -> It also includes what others' perceive of you. Be it in social comparisons, cultural teachings, and even our own interpretations and evaluations.

Self- Awareness

-> Self-awareness is our knowledge of our self. We go to the extent to of asking how well do we know who we are. -> A useful way of looking at self-awareness is with the Johari window, which consists of four parts.

-> The open self: information known to self and others; the blind self: information known only to others; the hidden self: information known only to self; and the unknown self: information known to neither self nor others. (to find out more : go to the the post about johari window) ->To increase self-awareness, ask yourself about yourself, open our ears to listen to others, actively seek information about yourself, see your different selves, and increase your open self.

Self- Esteem

-> Self-esteem is the value we place on ourself. We perceived our self-worth. -> To increase self-esteem, try attacking your self-destructive beliefs, seeking affirmation, seeking out nourishing people, and working on projects that will result in success.

Self Concept (Terms)

Having a self concept is important because it determines who we are in life. It's the way we see ourself and we use that to create a vision and ascertain the friends we mix with. It's what makes us fit in with a certain crowd and do things differently from others. Having a self concept is also the most important principle concerning success. My self concept is I'm a young girl, but I'm far from being a teenager. I'm as open as the oceans, sometimes, just as deep. The public is my friend, and strangers are my favourite . I'll like you until you give me a reason not to. I am not worried about living up to your standards; only my own. I expect a lot from people and I think that's fair in its entirety. I will point out your flaws without hesitation, but always with good intentions. I know where I want my life to take me and I'm not afraid to step on some toes to get there.

Stages of Perception

Date: 26 February 2009 (26.02.2009) Day: Thursday Time: 9.00 a.m.-12.00 p.m.

What is perception? It is a fundamental process in all interpersonal communication encounters. Perception is the process of making sense of the world around us. Perception has its own 5 stages of how we perceive people,the processes that influence our perceptions, and some of the ways in which we can make our perceptions more accurate. The 5 Stages : (1) Selection -We select what we want to perceive (2) Organization -We arrange the information that we preceive from selection (3) Interpretation -we starts to interprets on the things that we perceive and organize in selection and organization (4) Memory -We don't retain all we select factors that influence long-term memory: -recency of time (today vs. 10 years from now) -frequency of use (Tv Channel) -importance (PIN no) -emotional connection (first kiss) -weirdness/uniqueness (sumo wrestle) (5) Stimulation

Our mind works in the strangiest way that we could ever imagine. We don't notice our brain has a lot to do with the way we perceive a person or something. It's just a simple matter but there's a lot of steps in it.

Fairus Culture

I'm Fairus came from mixing culture such as Indian and Malaysian because that i usually follow both culture, like i always wear punjabi suits and haircraf, that show punjabi suits from Indian culture and haircraf from Malaysian culture. In my culture women must wear haircraf because it represents our pureness and our Islam religion. Sometime, haircraf also show some sort of new fashion and design. Haircraf also help us from getting any effect from the sun because it covers our head. By: Ros

Thaipusam Festival

Thaipusam is a one of the festival that every Indian people will celebrate for one of their God(Muraga). This is one of the Indian guy who take part in Thaipusam event such as he is carrying the iron for that festival. I also get some chance to take photo and investigate Ramu(in the right of photo) to know well about the events and following them to see the "Kavadi". This is Water Fall area, where every year they celebrate Thaipusam here. This show, how they celebrate Thaipusam every year. By: Ros